Jibun Rashiku
by Shirohane
Summary: On the day before the new year, Kaiba takes Jounouchi to a party, which turns into a complete disaster, and ends up hurting his feelings. Will Kaiba be able to make it up to Jounouchi? Kaiba x Jounouchi.


"We have to go somewhere today."

Because he's usually a stoic person, I was surprised to see him looking so excited. With the fork still in my mouth, I asked, "Where?"

He answered, "You'll know when you get there," and set down the pile of objects he had been holding in his arms on the chair next to me. When I examined the contents, I couldn't help but make a face.

"…What's up with the suit?"

Kaiba suddenly took hold of my hand and pulled me to my feet, so I stood up from the chair and gave him the most irritated glare I could manage. I didn't finish my breakfast yet, you annoying jerk. As if he can't see my expression, he ignored me and started to strip me of my pajamas.

"What are you doing, you idiot!" I yelled. He smiled at me. That's cheap, Kaiba! If you smile so sweetly like that, I can't get mad at you! Even though I'm a boy, I had to admit that Kaiba was very handsome. So when Kaiba warmly smiled at me, I ended up blushing.

"In case you're too dumb to realize it, I'm changing your clothes. Don't you even know something like that? You loser dog."

--I swear that I hate him. "I hate suits! Just where are we going that I have to wear a suit?! Hey!" Even though I continued to make a fuss, he continued to button up my shirt and neatly tie up my necktie. He kept smiling, so I didn't have the energy to fight back. Like an idiot, I thought that I wasn't sure what was up with Kaiba, but if it made him this happy, wearing suit wasn't half bad.

"Today you're going to do what I tell you to do. You're a good boy, right?" he asked me.

Before I finished grumbling to myself, 'The bastard thinks I'm at Mokuba's level', he poured nearly the entire bottle of hair gel on my head. "Eh… Hey! What the hell is this?!"

What are you doing to my hair?! Despite my protests, he kept laughing and brushing my hair. When I continued to yell at him, he shut me up by kissing me.

自分 らしく: To Be Honest to Myself 

作 : しろはね

I've already mentioned this, but I hate suits. I wore an expensive suit that Kaiba carefully chose for me, and I had my hair neatly brushed down, too. The perfume Kaiba had sprayed on me had a gentle, cool fragrance, so it was nice. Even objectively, I think I looked much better than I usually do. It need not be mentioned that Kaiba, who was wearing suit that matched mine, looked gorgeous. But even though I had a good-looking man that everyone admired next to me and I wore nice clothes, I felt gloomy. This kind of high-class party didn't feel welcoming to me. To me, who was a 'proletariat' to the bone, this kind of luxurious surrounding only made me uncomfortable.

Kaiba seemed too busy to give greeting to notice my feelings. Since Kaiba was the young president of the prestigious Kaiba Corporation, he had close connection with those of the upper society. When he held my hand and introduced me to others, they looked at me as if they were laughing at me, their eyes full of patronization. Their cold eyes made me want to throw up in disgust. The chandelier made everything sparkle brilliantly, and among the blinding light beautiful people busily moved about. The wide hall was full of ladies wearing fancy dresses and gentlemen in expensive suits. Everyone looked like they were full of grace and charms. I wasn't sure about Kaiba, but this world meant nothing to me. I couldn't relate to these people.

"This is Jounouchi Katsuya-san, whom I am currently dating. Jounouchi, introduce yourself," Kaiba's voice broke into my thoughts. Startled, I lifted my head. A beautiful lady smiled and greeted me, so I nervously said hello to her in return. Her lips were smiling, but her eyes were frozen like ice, so I felt my gut clenching in anticipation.

"My, Seto-kun, this is quite unexpected hobby of yours. Even if you have no intention of marrying him, if you mess around with a vulgar boy like this, it would be difficult for you to get married later. I'm sure it's convenient that there will be no children between you two, but are you sure you want to risk your company's reputation like this?" The lady asked, turning to Kaiba. I felt my stomach clenching tightly. Before Kaiba answered her, I interrupted. I didn't want to hear anymore. I didn't want to be here, either.

"I have to go to the bathroom, Kaiba. Um, excuse me."

I bowed to her and hurriedly left the room. Kaiba followed me. Without saying anything to him, I turned the cold water at full power and washed my face. I could see Kaiba's face reflected in the mirror. He looked a bit upset. "…You can't just walk out on people like that, proletariat."

"Sorry," I lightly told him. Honestly I wanted to cry. I wanted to cling to Kaiba and beg him to take me home. But Kaiba looked so excited this morning. I didn't want to force him to leave early because of me. Kaiba did anything and everything that I asked him to do, so this time I wanted to do something that Kaiba wanted to do. Because I liked him so much, I wanted to make the person that I love happy. "My part time job ended really late last night, so I feel really sleepy. I'm fully awake now, so let's go back."

Kaiba nodded and walked ahead of me, so I followed him. But Kaiba suddenly stopped walking and turned his head to look at me. "…Walk more elegantly."

I numbly stared at him before I asked, "Huh?" Kaiba lightly sighed at that.

"I'm saying, don't make it so obvious that you're a proletariat. If you stomp around like that, people will think lowly of you. Walk more gracefully and quietly."

What he said was true, but if you say such things so seriously… Even if it's just slightly… You hurt my feelings, Kaiba. But even though I was his lover I wasn't cute at all, and on top of that I was a boy, so he must have been embarrassed. Even though I wasn't desirable at all, Kaiba was trying his best to introduce me to people of his society, so I quietly said, "Sorry. I'll do my best." Kaiba walked out without looking at me again, and I followed him, trying my best to walk nicely.

When we've returned to the party, the tables have been set with food. I felt better immediately upon seeing tons of delicious food, most of which I didn't even know the name of. I ran ahead and started to place the food in a separate dish the waiters provided us with, but Kaiba stopped me. When I looked up at him, he quietly said, "Jounouchi. You can't move food with your hand like that. You have to use the nippers to pick up the food."

"…!" I immediately became ashamed and blushed to the roots of my hair. Luckily it seemed that only Kaiba saw me, so I moved the food to my plate and started to eat. Kaiba's expression became even weirder, and I started to hear people snickering around me.

"Jounouchi… You are really… Haaaa." Kaiba's sighs became more exasperated. I stared at him, not understanding what it was that I did. "You can't just stand around and stuff the food in your mouth like that. Without napkins or any utensils… Food got all over your mouth and hands, you know."

Kaiba took out a white handkerchief and cleanly wiped food that had smeared over my lips and fingers. I lost my appetite, so I left the food on the table and tightly held Kaiba's hand. I really hate this place. Kaiba, I don't want to be here…  
A gentle melody started, and Kaiba overlapped his hand over mine. He still seemed to be in a good mood. He kindly asked, "Shall we dance?" I tried to refuse him by saying that I didn't know how to dance, but before I knew it he had dragged me out to the dance hall. He placed his hand over my waist and helped me put my hand on his shoulder. Kaiba's face caught the light and looked warm, and the hand that tightly held mine felt warm, too. His normally cold blue eyes had softened to liquid sapphire blue, and his tightly closed mouth also relaxed somewhat, so I couldn't help smiling at him.

When I stepped back, as if he was sliding, he started to dance fluidly. Even though I was clumsy, I followed his lead and melted into the sweet melody of the string quartet. I accidentally stepped on Kaiba's feet few times, but he didn't seem to mind at all. Instead he held me even more tightly against his chest, so I felt comforted. From the man's warm body, I smelled a familiar fragrance. We danced so closely that I could feel each time his heart beat against his chest. Gradually I forgot all about feeling depressed and uncomfortable, and I was able to smile brightly again. I like you after all. If I'm together with you, Kaiba, I'm happy.

"Kyaaa!"

A sharp scream pierced through the foggy, pleasant atmosphere Kaiba created for me, and startled, we both stopped dancing and turned to look at the woman. She was a very pretty woman, but the expression on her face was ugly. Sneering, she sharply said, "You stepped on my foot!"

"Ah…" I slowly shook my head. "You… You must be mistaken. I did not step on anyone's feet except Kaiba's… If I had, I'm very sorry."

"Sorry won't cut it!" She shouted at me. Her dancing partner gave me a look that a person would commonly give a squashed bug, so I shrank back. I wanted to hide behind Kaiba, but since I was also a boy, I felt that I should take care of my own problems. "Do you know how expensive these shoes are? Look how they're all stretched out of shape because of your grubby, disgusting feet stepping all over them! And my feet hurt so much!"

"I'll pay for it," I stammered. In my head I rapidly calculated how much money was in my bank account and how much debt I'd have to repay this month. If I increased my part time job hours…

"You think it's something that the likes of you can afford?" The girl asked. I flinched. "Really, who do you think you are? You should be thankful enough that you even got to come to a party like this in your lifetime, but you dare to equate yourself with me?"

"You know what?" I replied, finally snapping. My hands clenched into fists. "I'll admit that I'm a proletariat, and I don't belong in a place like this. But to be honest, you're not much better than me, either. Sure you're probably rolling around in cash, but do something about your personality before you worry about money determining someone's worth. You're a complete trash!"

"Jounouchi Katsuya!"

Both the woman and I turned to look at Kaiba, astonished at his harsh tone. Kaiba's blue eyes flashed angrily and they have hardened until they looked like marbles, so I knew he was really upset. "What did I say about using that kind of words? I told you—"

Without thinking I swung my fist. My hand sunk into Kaiba's cheek with a loud cracking sound, and it stung when I pulled my fist away. The place where I hit him was already turning bright red. Tears sprang to my eyes. Even though I bowed never to cry again because I hated crying, I ended up crying.

"…Stupid Kaiba! I don't care anymore!"

I pushed Kaiba out of my way and blindly ran out of the brilliantly lit hallway. It felt like everyone was laughing at me. My cheeks burned with shame, and tears kept coming out, so I wiped them away with the back of my hand. When I ran out of the party room, I lost my way, so I wandered around in the dark hallway by myself. I wanted Kaiba to come out and find me, but I also didn't want to see Kaiba at that time. I continued to cry, even though it annoyed me that I couldn't stop crying. Bastard. He's the worst. I always knew that his company was more important to him than me, but why did he have to embarrass me in front of everyone?

At the end of the hallway there was a big door. It was heavy, but it easily opened. The cold evening breeze felt cool against my skin, and the fragrance of freshly cut pine trees smelled pleasant. I realized that the door led to the garden. The tears that ran across my cheeks felt hot. Suddenly ashamed of my tears in this serene place, I hurriedly wiped my tears away and walked a bit further down the garden.

"Jounouchi."

A dry male voice called me back. I stubbornly turned my head and refused to look at the speaker. When I didn't look at him, Kaiba made me turn around. His shoulders were heaving up and down, as if he had been running, and his face was flushed. It was unusual to see Kaiba looking so disarrayed, so I asked, "Are you drunk?"

Kaiba stared at me without saying anything. I felt it best to apologize before he exploded—Kaiba did not make a pretty sight when he was angry—but he suddenly dropped down to his knee. I felt my head turning blank. Who's this guy that looked like Kaiba and what had he done with the real Kaiba?! While I was desperately trying to figure out who this weird guy was, the Kaiba look-alike took hold of my hand and kissed the tip of my fingers.

"Don't cry, Jounouchi."

I realized that I had started to cry again. Wiping the fresh tears away, I crossly said, "Who's crying?"

"You weren't supposed to cry today, Jounouchi. You were supposed to be happy. It was my miscalculation."

I took a deep breath, then kneeled down until my eyes were leveled with Kaiba's. "What made you think I'll enjoy spending end of this year like this, Kaiba? I wanted to spend time with you, not come to this party. You know I don't like these kind of things."

Kaiba shook his head. "It wasn't the party. There was something I wanted to do after dancing with you."

"What?" I asked. Kaiba slowly stood up and made me stand up with him. Somewhere the bell started to ring, and I realized that it must be twelve o'clock—the start of the new year. Kaiba suddenly crushed his lips against mine, so I stared at him in surprise. Wrapping his arms tightly around me, Kaiba kissed me until the last echoes of the twelfth ring faded away, then he pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine.

"Become Kaiba Katsuya, Jounouchi."

That took some time to process.

"Eh… Ehhh?!!! Are, are you… Kaiba, what…?!!!"

The small smile on Kaiba's face looked bitter. "I wanted to… propose to you in front of everyone. I wanted to show everyone the person whom I wanted to spend rest of my life with. I know you're anxious about our relationship, so by telling all of my business partners and associations about you today, I wanted you to feel more secure about my feelings towards you. I wanted to reassure you that I won't leave you—that I really want to spend rest of my life with you."

I felt my cheeks redden as Kaiba kissed my eyelids and licked the tears away. "It was my fault that nothing worked out. I wanted you to stay at the party until I at least proposed to you, but I think I only made you more angry by trying to make you fit in with those of my society. I wanted you to accept that part of my life, and I wanted them to accept you as well."

"You idiot."

Kaiba looked at me questioningly. I slowly pulled away from him. "What made you think I'll accept your proposal? Did you think how embarrassing it'd be if I rejected you in front of everyone? I never even thought about something like marriage, and—"

"I like you."

"Eh…"

Kaiba got even closer to me. I tried to back off, but my back hit the wall of the mansion. Kaiba pressed his hand against the side of my face, gently stroking my cheek. "I want to spend rest of my life with you."

"Kai.."

"Please marry me, Jounouchi Katsuya. I'll never make you cry again. I promise to make you happy, no matter what."

"…Liar."

Even though I was sulking, I allowed him to kiss me again, and I also allowed him to slip a ring into my fourth finger. I knew there would be days when Kaiba would be too busy to pay attention to me, no matter how much I needed him. I knew that because of our differences, there would be many days when I would shed frustrated tears. I knew all of that. But because the liar in front of me sweetly embraced me, because he gently murmured against my ear, "I won't ever try to change you again. I like you just the way you are. Live as whom you really are, Jounouchi", I made a promise with Kaiba.

Starting from this year, I would live as myself, as Kaiba Katsuya.

-Oshimai-

Koreans say that when a couple is overly lovey-dovey, they're spreading chicken feathers everywhere. Since this year is the year of the chicken, it's a KaiJyo amai amai love-love, full of chicken feathers. Frankly it turned so sweet towards the end that even the writer wondered who the strange guy calling himself Kaiba was and what happened to the real Kaiba, but let's cheerfully ignore the fact that Kaiba would probably never act like that. Happy new year. May everything you do be successful and this year be full of happiness and prosperity for you. :3


End file.
